A conversation with an acquaintance:
P: I ran across your blog recently. I was adopted, too. I really love how you approach topics with humor.
Me: Thanks! Wow, I really like this person. How astute! I am pretty funny.
P: Yeah, I read another blog by an adoptive mother. She was kind of ridiculous. She was whining about assignments her adopted child was given at school. I mean seriously, everyone wants special attention these days. You've got to just roll with things, right?
Me: What the...? I'm surprised you feel that way. My boys have had a few assignment that were really insensitive for adopted kids. One son was asked to bring in a baby picture.We don't have any. His teacher knew he was adopted as an older child. There have been other assignments too. I don't roll with it at all. I get upset and address it at school.
P: Oh, I get that! I am kind of a mother bear when it comes to my daughter. She's not adopted.
Me: Thanks for clarifying? Didn't you have any assignments growing up that were hard or impossible to do as an adoptee? I remember in Science, during a lesson on genetics, we had to figure out where we got our eye color. It was awful!
P: I should clarify about my adoption. It wasn't like yours. I was very, very loved and wanted.
Me: Go on. (The back of my head began to tingle, this usually is a signal of danger. I realized that I wasn't in danger, the person I was talking to was. I was beginning to feel violent.)
P: What I mean is, I had a very happy childhood. I was very loved. I wasn't adopted due to being unwanted. I was always wanted. My dad died when I was a kid. My mom remarried and my step father adopted me.
Me: Okay, a lost dad. I can relate. Stop overreacting. We have that in common. I'm so sorry you lost your dad. I lost my dad when I was a teenager. It is very traumatic. I'm sorry you had to go through that.
P: Yes, so you can imagine what I went through. And he was my real, uh, I mean biological dad, so it was that much worse for me.
Me: (head tingling wildly) Well, it is kind of silly to compare losses but I can assure you that my dad was no less of a dad to me, than yours was to you.
P: (tilting head, pursing lips, indicating disagreement)
Me: Okay! Nice talking with you. Not really.