An Adoption Conversation

A conversation with an acquaintance:

P:  I ran across your blog recently.  I was adopted, too.  I really love how you approach topics with humor.

Me: Thanks!  Wow, I really like this person.  How astute!  I am pretty funny.

P:  Yeah, I read another blog by an adoptive mother.  She was kind of ridiculous.  She was whining about assignments her adopted child was given at school.  I mean seriously, everyone wants special attention these days.  You've got to just roll with things, right?

Me:  What the...?  I'm surprised you feel that way.  My boys have had a few assignment that were really insensitive for adopted kids.  One son was asked to bring in a baby picture.We don't have any.  His teacher knew he was adopted as an older child.  There have been other assignments too.  I don't  roll with it at all.  I get upset and address it at school.

P: Oh, I get that!  I am kind of a mother bear when it comes to my daughter.  She's not adopted.

Me: Thanks for clarifying?  Didn't you have any assignments growing up that were hard or impossible to do as an adoptee?  I remember in Science, during a lesson on genetics, we had to figure out where we got our eye color.  It was awful!

P: I should clarify about my adoption.  It wasn't like yours.  I was very, very loved and wanted.

Me:  Go on.  (The back of my head began to tingle, this usually is a signal of danger.  I realized that I wasn't in danger, the person I was talking to was.  I was beginning to feel violent.)

P:  What I mean is, I had a very happy childhood.  I was very loved. I wasn't adopted due to being unwanted. I was always wanted.  My dad died when I was a kid.  My mom remarried and my step father adopted me.

Me:  Okay, a lost dad.  I can relate.  Stop overreacting. We have that in common.  I'm so sorry you lost your dad.  I lost my dad when I was a teenager.  It is very traumatic.  I'm sorry you had to go through that.

P:   Yes, so you can imagine what I went through.  And he was my real, uh, I mean biological dad, so it was that much worse for me.

Me: (head tingling wildly) Well, it is kind of silly to compare losses but I can assure you that my dad was no less of a dad to me, than yours was to you. 

P:  (tilting head, pursing lips, indicating disagreement

Me:  Okay!  Nice talking with you.  Not really.